Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Life is good

To be perfectly honest...I've been struggling as of late.  Many things factor into this...change, some more change, my attachment to "stuff" and people, the fact that I am wearing my fleece in MAY and other random things.  While some of my predicaments actually don't mean a thing, esp. to you, it seems to be wearing on me.  I actually catch myself slipping into sadness.  This is simply not who the Lord intended for me to be...He has wired me to be the bouncy, sassy, crazy, life loving person that I am. ;-)   I find myself believing lies over truth.  Does this sound familiar to you?

Examples:

Age matters.  (It doesn't...this is my most difficult area tho)  ((do not ask me my age))  (((i mean it)))  Thinking of Ric here....sshhhh.

College education/certification/master's degrees make me more worthwhile.  (REALLY?? no.)  ((I know each one of my student's names, I know their personalities and what they struggle with, and I don't have to be the one to send them to the principals office.))

My grandfather and all of his stuff define me.  Nuh uh....Let me clarify quickly...He died, we cleaned out his beloved farm, sold everything that he loved, then leveled the house and some buildings.  All of this deeply affected me....I am so attached to the people I love.  Very hard to watch something that you have cherished for *0 years be ripped to pieces.  Thinking of the Alabama folks here.



The weather has the power to push me into a pit of mud where I'm stuck in the middle and cannot get out.  If I move I go deeper into the blackness.  (Sunshine speaks life to me, I can feel it recharging me like a battery cell..still struggling with this one...this is where I know I need to be around the people I love most).  Esp. the ones who make me cry/laugh till it hurts.  Thinking of you know who you are here!

Where is God in all of this??  Well...silent to me.  Because that's where I put him.  Finally started feeling his pursuit of me tho the week before Easter.  Watching the Passion of the Christ...thinking about what he's done for me, it was hard for me to watch and think of all my selfishness.  He gave everything so I could be with Him.  I regret my *insert stupidness here*....but I don't have time to maintain these regrets...so off I go to live and love...Thinking of you here.  :-)
                
 Can anyone relate to this?

You are loved, Sharla